


Sloppy Makeouts of the Young and Caliginous

by LPSunnyBunny



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Caliginous-Flushed Vacillation, Canon Universe, Coming In Pants, Dryhumping, F/M, Grinding, Hair-pulling, Half assed attempt at using troll lingo, Humor, Meteorstuck, Roughhousing, Self-Esteem Issues, Sloppy Makeouts, The romance of the stupid and bitchy, rough and tumble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-13 08:00:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28774965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LPSunnyBunny/pseuds/LPSunnyBunny
Summary: Karkat is definitely-not-sulking on the meteor after shit goes tits up. Vriska finds him and does what she does best: be a bitch.
Relationships: Vriska Serket/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16
Collections: Sunny's Portfolio





	Sloppy Makeouts of the Young and Caliginous

**Author's Note:**

  * For [C4LIC4T](https://archiveofourown.org/users/C4LIC4T/gifts).



> First time ever writing Karkat/Vriska. Good ass ship.

Okay,  _ look. _

Karkat knows he's not the best of leaders. He's had it rubbed into his face by more than one troll on  _ more  _ than one occasion, so it's not like it's something he  _ doesn't know about.  _ The universe has been pretty fucking apparent on it's desire to send messengers to inform him that hey! Dipshit! Stop acting all high and fucking mighty because you are worth approximately jack shit to your friends after being such a COLLOSSAL fuckup that everything has gone down the goddamn load gaper.

Yeah. Karkat's spent a lot of time sulking on this god-forsaken meteor they've all ended up on. What of it? It's kind of his prerogative to do so after everything that's gone down. He's pretty sure that the universe owes him  _ this  _ at least-

"Oh  _ heeeeeeeere  _ you are! I wondered where you had sulked off to."

God fucking dammit.

"What the fuck do  _ you  _ want, Vriska?" Karkat snaps, turning around to glare at her as she leans in the doorway like the massive bitch she is. He's glaring hard enough that it should have her stuck in her tracks, he's radiating such an aura of  _ fuck off  _ that she should get the hint and  _ leave him alone.  _

Of course, being a massive bitch, she just flips her hair and steps inside, kicking the door shut behind herself. It rattles in the frame with an unpleasant  _ bang,  _ but even moreso it confirms that she's here to stay and antagonize him. 

"Just checking on our  _ wonderful  _ leader." She says, folding her arms and cocking her hip like she's trying to be a cool rebel out of a coming of age movie. Karkat hates that it works for her. He hates that she's taller than him, that her messy hair always looks so fucking cool when his is pathetic and messy, and he hates even more that he doesn't actually hate those things about her.

"Check in done, you can fucking leave." Karkat say with a roll of his eyes. "So go on out that door and tell whoever put you up to this that I'm fucking  _ fine,  _ thanks-" that's rich, like anyone would give enough of a shit about him to make sure that he's okay- "and fuck off and leave me to my solitude." 

"To your  _ sulking. _ " Vriska sing-songs, which she's not  _ wrong  _ but she can fuck off anyway, as she saunters on over to where Karkat is sitting on the vaguely-lumpy couch. (It's not exactly the most comfortable of couches, but given that it's the most-secluded one he makes do by doing the thing that the universe seems to be unable to do, which is  _ compromising. _

"I am not  _ sulking,  _ you horrendous bitch!" Karkat snaps, which is, of course, the wrong thing to say, because Vriska's grin gets wider.

"You  _ are!"  _ She says, delighted at confirmation through his fucking  _ denial _ because yeah sure  _ that  _ makes sense, fucking bitch. She kicks at his feet and he kicks back and there's a minute of back-and-forth flailing limbs banging together of the distinctly unsexy kind before Vriska wins and shoves her way onto the couch, folding all of her lanky fucking limbs into a third of the space on one edge and then  _ un _ folding them to shove Karkat to the side so that the space that was once originally all his is now primarily occupied by the girl as spiderlike as her fucking lusus.

"Hey-!" Karkat snaps as he's shoved. "If you put your feet on me, I swear to god I'm going to start swinging." 

"Oh,  _ puh-leeze. _ " Vriska rolls her eye in all of it's eightfold glory and puts her feet into his space anyway, wedging one under his thigh and the other into the small of his back. She's wearing her shoes like a fucking animal, so he gets to look forwards to cleaning his shit off when she's done fucking it up. Which is never. She's never done fucking his shit up. "What are you gonna do, hit me?" 

"I might." Karkat threatens. "I'm just about ready to unleash my goddamn fists on you at this point, Vriska, so why don't you take the hint and  _ fuck off? _ "

"Nah." Vriska smirks at him smugly like the smug bitch she is, smirking around and smugging her stupid smug face everywhere. Karkat wants to grind his teeth just at the sight of it. "Now why don't you stop being an idiot?" She asks, cocking her head to the side.

Karkat pauses. Squints at her. ".....about what?" He asks cautiously. 

She rolls her eyes so hard that she drapes herself dramatically backwards across the arm of the couch to follow the motion.

" _ Everything _ , you loser!" She exclaims. "You're brooding like a fucking dumbass over  _ something  _ and I honestly can't give a shit what about but it's  _ annoying. _ "

Karkat stares at her, something clicking together. The force of his realization is practically audible, a plastic snapping of puzzle pieces together as he realizes and feels a hot surge of  _ something  _ in his chest.

"Are you  _ concerned  _ about me?" He asks, almost not able to believe the words as they come out of his mouth.

"What? Ew. Gross. Don't be stupider than usual." Vriska refutes immediately, but she's not the only one who can get confirmation from denial and Karkat pounces like a purrbeast, sitting up more.

"Oh my god you  _ are,"  _ he says. Vriska wrinkles her nose and props herself up on her elbows on the armrest behind her, lounging on the couch because she shoved her way into his space to…  _ check on him. _

Wow. Karkat has no fucking idea what to do with this information.

"Stop being an idiot." Vriska says. " _ Someone  _ has to come check on you to make sure you're not in here moping and planning on culling yourself."

"Oh my god." Karkat wants to throw his hands up. "Are you actually serious right now? For real? Honest to fucking god serious? If there's anything on this fucking meteor that will make me cull myself it's  _ being in your fucking presence." _

"Awwwwwwww." Vriska grins at him and pokes him with her disgusting shoe. He slaps it away and she does it again. She's fucking disgusting. 

"You're fucking disgusting." Karkat informs her. 

"You loooooooove it." Vriska teases and he snaps his teeth at her finger reaching over to poke his cheek, stamping down the sudden flush with a vicious fury. No fucking way, he does  _ not. _

"Fuck you." 

Vriska rolls her eyes. "Is that an offer, promise, or idle threat?" She drawls and Karkat glares at her.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" He asks, ignoring the way his bloodpusher is suddenly pounding harder up in his throat. 

"Puh- _ leeze _ , Karkat." Vriska swings about, goes up on her knees on the couch, looking down at the suddenly-caught-off-guard Karkat. "Let's stop fucking dancing around, huh? It's  _ booooooooring. _ " 

"What." Karkat says flatly.

"Are you deaf as well as dumb?" Vriska asks, reaches for his ankles, and drags him down the couch in a move that has him yelping and scrambling to grab at anything to anchor himself, kicking out at her.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU-?!"

"Come  _ on, _ even  _ you  _ can't be this dense!" Vriska complains, and she's looming over him now, hair falling in waves around her that has Karkat's bloodpusher pounding roughly. It should be gross, she never takes good enough care of her hair so it's tangled and messy and probably has like, sticks and mud in it or something, but it's hanging around them now as Vriska leans over him and down and 

"Are you fucking serious?" Karkat hates the way that his incredulous demand comes out wobbly because of the weight of her bony ass parked on his thighs.

Vriska, yet again, rolls her eyes. Karkat is more focused on her mouth being  _ right there  _ to be properly annoyed. 

"What, are you waxing red for me or some shit?" She asks. "Gross."

"I am not- you are fucking  _ insufferable _ you-" Karkat sputters, face going hot, because, well- fuck, Karkat's always had issues with quadrants and keeping them straight, so Vriska's not- she's not  _ wrong,  _ which is the most annoying part. She's always fucking annoying. Karkat hates that sometimes he finds it endearing because it really, really shouldn't be. Her nosiness and bitchy behavior and roundabout way of showing she's concerned covered up in fifteen layers of Mega Bitch™ shouldn't have Karkat fucking flipping red at the most random of points but here he is! Being a dipshit!

"Oh my gooooooood you  _ are!"  _ She exclaims, cutting him off. "Holy shit,  _ Karkles _ , are you for real? Like, actually right now? Oh my god."    
  


"Shut up!" Karkat slaps at her, smacking her shoulders, but she smacks his hands away. "Can you fucking get off me already? Whatever stupid bullshit you're trying to pull here-" 

Pain flares in his nose as their faces bang together. Karkat yelps, Vriska grunts in annoyance, and then her hands are in Karkat's hair and she's holding him in place as she kisses him properly.

It's… weird. Her lips are chapped and splitting and he can feel them on his as she aggressively yanks his head back and devours his mouth in a way that has him shuddering and grabbing her hips for something to hold onto. Her teeth scrape across his lower lip and it sends something hot and molten  _ singing  _ down his spine, his breath catching in his chest painfully.

Her tongue is wet and firm as it invades his open mouth- has she done this before? Sloppy makeouts with someone? Karkat can't stop a hot pang of  _ something  _ in his chest, achy and upset, at the idea of- probably Terezi? Was it Terezi? Or maybe Eridan, he's pretty sure those two had  _ something  _ going on-

He moans as one of her hands cup over his horn and  _ rubs _ , hot pleasure washing down his spine and getting his bulge  _ very interested  _ in the proceedings.

"Get it now?" Vriska mocks, their mouths still pressed together so it comes our more as  _ gt ih nao  _ but Karkat does, in fact, get it. He is the master of getting it.

"Fuck you." He mumbles. Vriska laughs. Her laugh is sharp and mocking and grating. Karkat hates it. He hates the way she kisses him harder and rolls her hips in a weird way that has him groaning without any input or permission what-so-all from his brain which is  _ unfair.  _ He's pretty sure his brain might be finally getting with the program because Vriska- and all her little fucking quirks that make her the mega bitch she is- have pushed through stupidly, disgustingly endearing and right back into  _ really fucking annoying. _

Blackrom is like an old friend, with her. The kind you invite to your birthday parties and hope doesn't show up because they always make a scene and you're forced to politely shoo them out before they claw someone's face off. They always come back, though, because despite their batshit insanity, they also make you laugh and cry and get  _ really really pissed off. _

So Karkat lets it happen, lets the boiling hatred rise up in his chest for this fucking bitch, and he grabs her hair right on back, sinking his claws into the tangles and  _ gripping. _

"Yeah, I fucking get it." He snaps as he yanks her head back, catching the blue flush across Vriska's cheek and the shine in her eye. "You kiss like a slobbering barkbeast looking for a fucking bone." 

"How appropriate." Vriska says, her claws kneading at Karkat scalp in a way that is having his skin light up and tingle all over. His pants feel tight. "You kiss like something that's fucking  _ dead.  _ Here I thought the so-called 'Master of Romance' would know how to plant one on a gal." 

"Will you shut the fuck up?" Karkat snaps, face going hot. "You fucking  _ assaulted  _ me with your goddamn mouth, that's not exactly-"

"Yeah, and I'll do it again." Vriska declares, cutting him off, and then smashing their mouths together. Karkat growls in annoyance, the sound stuttering into a moan as Vriska starts to grind her hips down.

"Fucking- bitch, can you just-" Karkat jerks his head away to break the kiss, shoving his feet and knees against her as best he can, sending her sprawling down the couch on top of him. Her eye goes wide in surprise as she collapses onto him with an  _ uff- _ but then he's slotting one thigh between hers. 

"Oh,  _ shit _ -" Vriska groans and Karkat smugly yanks her back in to kiss her more, determined to rise to her fucking challenge because that's what they fucking do. She's a mega bitch but she's one of the strongest goddamn trolls Karkat knows and he hates and admires her for it in turn. It's fucking infuriating and he knows she knows it and he knows she knows that she drags and challenges and pushes him to be better and he knows that  _ she  _ knows that he knows-

This is stupid. Why is he thinking about this  _ now? _ He should be fucking sloppy kissing her, so that is exactly what he does.

Their tongues tangle together as their bodies press in a long line of heat. Karkat, shorter and broader and softer all over; Vriska, tall and boney and angular enough to cut people just from a bump. It should be uncomfortable- actually, it  _ is  _ uncomfortable because Vriska's knee is fucking  _ sharp  _ and she is  _ digging it into his goddamn thigh- _

"Move your fucking leg." Karkat hisses. 

"Make me." Vriska snaps back, so Karkat  _ shoves _ his thigh up against her crotch, making her let out a noise that sounds  _ suspiciously  _ like a whimper.

Holy shit. Holy  _ shit.  _ Karkat wants to hear that noise from her a thousand times. He wants to drag it out of her over and over, throw her moments of weakness in her face to  _ gloat.  _ His blood is fucking on  _ fire  _ right now from the force of the hunger that is, honestly, a little scary, as it pumps through his veins, hot and angry and all  _ I want to fucking ruin you, you stupid bitch.  _

Yeah, he's definitely in hate. At least right now. Maybe it'll be different later, but all he can think about is rolling them over and sending them crashing to the floor so that he can get the fuck on top of her and pin her down. 

"No you fucking  _ don't-"  _ Vriska snarls and then the two of them are rolling across the floor in a stupid fucking mating dance of two teenagers clumsily figuring out their very first hatefuck. They slam into a low table and Karkat shouts as his head is smacked, Vriska howls with anger as Karkat yanks her hair like reins and flips her over onto her stomach, she twists under him like a snake and kicks him off, lunges, he dodges, she grabs him  _ anyway _ and they're crashing back to the floor again as she messily attacks his mouth with her mouth and his claws are dragging over her shoulders, arms, yanking at her shirt to pull her in, push her off, he's not quite sure.

It's strange and new and clumsy and the hottest fucking thing that's ever happened to Karkat. Vriska is kissing him hot and wet and messy and the sloppiest of makeouts because there is  _ absolutely  _ spit all over their chins as they do their best to eat each other's faces, legs hooked around each other as they grind together in a way that has pleasure singing, it's so uncomfortable through his pants but every time Vriska reaches for his belt Karkat gets a hot pulse of  _ fear  _ and he snarls and flips them again and she must get the hint because she stops reaching and starts rolling her hips instead. 

"You are so. Fucking.  _ Insufferable. _ " Karkat pants as he gets his leg around her thigh and twists, putting her on her back.

"Me?" Vriska gasps, jerking with a little moan as he starts grinding and humping his thigh against her, straddling her leg in the process to get  _ himself  _ stimulation. " _ You're  _ the stupid, self-destructive one,  _ oh, waah, look at me, I'm so miserable, won't a- anyone come comfort meeeeeeee- _ " 

The stutter in Vriska's other-wise composed speech makes Karkat's bulge thrash in delighted pleasure. The rest of him is just plain  _ pissed off _ .

"I don't fucking act like that!" He snaps.

"Yes you  _ doooooooo! _ " Vriska sings- and then she's jamming an elbow into his side, fucking  _ ow _ , and twisting them around and down again and now  _ Karkat's  _ the one on his back being humped into the fucking floor and her expression is open and wild in the way that he's only seen during FLARPs when she's about to  _ crush  _ her opponent. 

It probably shouldn't turn him on. He's never been more turned on in his  _ life. _

"You're a stupid bastard who doesn't even realize how fucking  _ good  _ you have it-" Vriska pants, but her words sent a rush of anger through Karkat that has him  _ reeling _ .

"How fucking  _ good I have it???"  _ Karkat demands. "Are you fucking stupid? Holy fucking shit-" 

"No, shut the  _ fuck up. _ " Vriska snarls, yanking Karkat's head back and baring his throat in a way that has him freezing and locking a whimper behind his teeth, bared to her in a way that is  _ so vulnerable  _ that it's making hatred pound in his veins, how  _ dare  _ she put him in this position, she could tear his throat out in a  _ second- _

"Everyone  _ fucking  _ loves you, Karkat." Vriska sneers. "Sulking around and pitying yourself because some shit got fucked to hell and back is fucking loser shit! So fucking what, pick up your goddamn pants and put them on like a fucking big kid and get the fuck out there and be the fucking leader that you wanted to be  _ so goddamn badly _ . You don't get to assign yourself a position and then  _ whine  _ about it, you stupid asshole!" 

Karkat is trembling in her hands, low moans trapped in his throat as she fucking pulls him apart and lays it down so fucking effortlessly that it  _ hurts _ . She's got him pinned down and there's heady pleasure in his gut from the ruthless way she's fucking against him, using all of her wry, bony strength to just  _ hump  _ him into the goddamn floor. 

"So stop acting all woe-is-me, stop hiding yourself in goddamn corners and pretending like suddenly everyone hates you for everything going sideways and flipping it's shit so hard that there's not even any more shit to be flipped anymore!" Vriska yanks his thighs up and apart, panting as she continues her hateful deluge of words that are cutting him right open, hooking his legs around her waist to hump him  _ properly  _ and he's trembling under her and tongue-tied because all he can feel is the hot fuck of their hips together and his bulge being ground against the fabric of his underwear and it's tight and hot and her hands are in his hair again and  _ pulling  _ as she calls him a stupid bitch, a fucking moron, and he shakes and moans as he cums, jerking under her and clawing at her arms, little spurts of genmat released into his pants and oh, that is going to be  _ disgusting  _ later, holy fuck. 

He's panting as she stills and makes a noise like a strangled purrbeast, her expression twisted into the ugliest thing he thinks he's ever seen on her face, but she's panting roughly above him, shifting to plant her hands on either side of his head and staring down at him, something like smug victory on her face and he kind of wants to slap it away and go for round two to pin  _ her  _ down and get one over her.

"Stop being such a fucking braindead moron." Vriska says, and Karkat scowls at her. 

"Fuck off." He says. She rolls her eyes.

"You really are fucking hopeless." She sneers, reaching up to push her hair back from her sweaty forehead, flipping it so it falls down on one side of her face. Karkat could grab it and use it as a handle to pull her down and flip them. It might even work.

He grabs it and yanks. Vriska yelps in a  _ very  _ undignified manner as he flips them and pins her down.

"You think  _ I'm  _ hopeless?" Karkat sneers right on back. Vriska's eye goes wide. "You think that was a fucking black dressing down? Lemme fucking show you how you do it, you stupid nooksniffing bitch." 

"Get the fuck off me-" 

"Shut the fuck up. You had your turn, now it's  _ mine.  _ You're so fucking stupid, you know that?" Karkat demands- he's not even trying to initiate another round, there's just a hot pulse in his veins of hatred, of making her  _ feel  _ just how fucking much he hates her.

"You could have anything you fucking wanted, don't you talk to me about how  _ good I have it.  _ You're so fucking wrapped up in your ideas of what you should and shouldn't be, on being the fucking top barkbeat alpha bitch all the time that you fail to see just how fucking hard you're fucking everyone over!"

He grabs her wrists when she tries to swipe at him, pinning them to the floor on either side of her head. 

"You can't give a single shit about anyone else, isn't that right?" Karkat spits, dredging up all the old fucking hates and hurts and aches that she's pressed into him over the sweeps. "You can't be fucking  _ bothered.  _ What the fuck does everyone else matter? They're fucking insignificant, aren't they? Just food for the goddamn slaughter? Vriska Serket is  _ so  _ smart, Vriska Serket is  _ so  _ cool and strong and untouchable that nothing bothers her, isn't that fucking right?"

"I fucking see you, you dumb bitch." He's pressing her down, not giving her any wiggle room, finally pinned properly. Finally at his mercy to fucking pull her apart. "You're so goddamn pathetic and it fucking hurts to look at you. You've got all your fucking bravado and swagger to cover up the fact that you're so fucking weak and lonely and  _ desperate  _ under it all. Isn't that why you keep fucking reaching out, trying to get others to pay attention to you? You  _ have  _ to be looked at cause you can't  _ stand  _ being ignored." 

Vriska looks like she's been struck dumb, eye wide, face flushed blue, mouth open in a tiny little frozen gasp of shock. 

Karkat goes in for the cull.

"Maybe if you weren't so stupidly insecure and a  _ massive bitch  _ about it, people would like you more!" He snaps. Vriska jerks like he physically slapped her, recoiling as she grits her teeth.

"Get off me." She snaps. Karkat rolls his eyes and off her. She scowls as she pushes herself up into a sitting position, raking her claws through her hair to try and (fail to) put it in some kind of order.

"I fucking hate you, you know that?" She snaps. Karkat rolls his eyes.

"You mean like it wasn't  _ obvious?"  _ He asks sarcastically as he waves his hand at the room that they have somewhat wrecked. "Go the fuck away." 

"Fine." Vriska sniffs, hauling her bony ass to her feet and flipping her hair as she turns away. "Braindead moron." 

"Shut up, you collossal bitch."

She laughs, but there's a weird note to it and Karkat can't stop himself from grinning viciously- yeah, he got to her. He fucking got right under his skin and now he gets to burrow in the back of her fucking mind. Shit feels good.

"Whatever, lamebrain." She saunters from the room as if nothing had happened.

Karkat goes to plop down on the couch and resume his sulking, but… he stops. 

He doesn't actually feel upset anymore. He feels  _ satisfied,  _ his claws are itching to  _ do  _ something, to go out there and beat some ass or order someone around or do literally anything to prove Vriska wrong.

Oh, god dammit. If he does  _ anything  _ he'll be proving her  _ right,  _ too.

What a fucking bitch. Karkat hates her so much.

(And admires her, but… that's for another time, he thinks.)

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> If you like my writing, follow me on Twitter [@LPSunnyBunny](http://www.twitter.com/LPSunnyBunny)!


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